


Hearts afire

by Sharinganblossoms



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Chp 138 spoilers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-31
Updated: 2021-03-16
Packaged: 2021-03-17 14:54:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29102088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sharinganblossoms/pseuds/Sharinganblossoms
Summary: Collection of eremika snippets exploring the spectrum from canonverse to au.
Relationships: Mikasa Ackerman/Eren Yeager
Comments: 37
Kudos: 284





	1. What if

**Author's Note:**

> Each chapter will range around 500 words. Tags will be added as the fic proceeds.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's thoughts on Mikasa after his talk with Zeke.

_She just likes you so much that she will snap a Titan’s neck in two for you._

The thrumming in his heart was almost a strange sensation now as Eren couldn’t for the life of him remember how long had it been since he felt anything _really_ in his pumping organ except for its usual functioning. _Still_ he managed to maintain the impassive look on his face for the rest of his meeting with Zeke, trying not to let out that the subject influenced him that much.

His thoughts were usually clouded with the impending future he had seen—the countless deaths of innocent as consequence to his action. There was no place for someone like her in those tainted memories. He tried to push anything and everything about her to the back of his mind. Eren knew he had to give up on whatever they were or weren’t if he had to move forward. He had been successful in doing so until now but a brisk conversation with a certain warrior candidate burst open the dam he had tried really hard to keep close.

_A talented candidate_

And his thoughts immediately went to Mikasa. He couldn’t even escape her here and before he knew it, he found himself asking _Zeke_ of all people about her feelings. That wasn’t one of his proudest moments, he would admit. He was just driven by that lingering emotion which always dwelled somewhere deep inside his empty shell of a being.

Eren cursed himself for his temporary lapse in sanity as he found himself thinking about her more often. All the _what if_ s came rushing through his brain at that moment.

_What if she was honest about her feelings back then?_

_What if his days weren’t numbered?_

_What if he was more clear with his question?_

_What if they didn’t live in this cursed world?_

Hope was a dangerous emotion. One he had abandoned a long time ago when it came to his own personal desires, and yet he found himself asking those questions once again or remembering the crinkle of her chin as she let out those rare smiles or how her eyes twinkled with innocence when she first stepped into Marley and discovered new things. She was pure _too good_ for him and he couldn’t _no_ wouldn’t taint her with his selfishness. She deserved better than him. Always have. He would make sure that before he was gone, he would free her from the shackles of their cursed fate. Her and his friends safety was all he ever wanted.

And maybe just _maybe_ if he could, he would wish to remember her smile and her soft voice _even_ after he died.

Because the selfish part of him wanted her memory to remain even when he turned to ashes.


	2. Ignorance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Mikasa stumbles upon Eren one chilly night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place somewhere around 108 flashback.

Cold wind ruffled the loose strands of her hairs as Mikasa shivered and clenched the shawl close to her form. She had never been very fond of winter. There was something _so_ gloomy and dull about the season which put her off. She tiptoed through the hallway and paused when she found someone by the porch stairs. The moonlight illuminated his sharp features as Mikasa let out a shiver at another wave of cold air.

“Eren?”

His head rose up slowly as he blinked twice and stared at her and then around him, as if trying to make sense of his surroundings.

“Its cold. You should go to bed.” She added when she got no response from him except a low sigh as he stared in front. Mikasa wondered if he _even_ registered her words at all. He had been getting lost in his thoughts more often lately and she wasn’t quite fond of that aspect. Realising that he was not going to move, she perched herself couple feet away from him on the wooden floor. The right thing would have been to go back inside her room and snuggle up in her blanket but it was very rare that she found moments _alone_ with Eren. Plus it wasn't like she was able to sleep anyways. Today was one of those nights where sleep evaded her entirely. 

“You are shivering.” Eren pointed out after a beat of silence as she realised that she was _indeed_ shaking like a leaf.

“Mikasa, go back inside.”

“Well you should go too.” She retorted with a slight chatter of her teeth as he _finally_ turned and looked at her. He held her gaze far longer than what was deemed normal before shaking his head and looking away.

“Always so stubborn.” A slow murmur left his lips as she rubbed her hand to generate some heat. Because how was she going to tell him that she wanted to steal some moments with him, as he seemed to be going further away from her each passing day. Not physically of course. Not _yet._

“Come here.” A tan hand appeared in her vicinity as she gaped with surprise but didn’t move. Huffing a little he grabbed her hand before sliding closer to her as her cheeks flamed red.

“Wh—“

“Body heat.” Came the brisk reply as his warm hand drew circles on her freezing one. Suddenly she didn’t feel as cold as before as a different kind of warmth enveloped her entirely. It was very rare that Eren initiated _any_ kind of physical contact with her, so it caught her off guard. Hell the last time he did so was probably when he carried her on his back after her rib injury. It seemed so long ago now. Mikasa sometimes missed those days when they were ignorant of the reality of the world, when she didn’t know her two best friend's time was limited on this earth, when Eren wasn’t as detached as now. She missed the fire in his eyes, even his angry little outbursts. Now he barely had any kind of emotion other than that impassive look.

“What?” She snapped out her trance and only then realised that she had been staring at his profile all this while. Hiding the redness of her cheek with scarf she looked away in silence.

_There were a dozen things she could have led it out before him then._

_Are you still there, Eren?_

_Why does it seem like you have gone so far from us?_

_Can I do anything to help you?_

_What’s bothering you?_

_Why are you up so late?_

_Did you have a nightmare?_

_Are you facing difficulty sleeping just like me? If so, why? Tell me._

_Let me share your burden._

But she didn’t. She didn’t because a part of her was too scared of his response. After all what was the point of stepping out of her comfort zone and making things complicated, and so she stayed ignorant.

It wasn’t until many months later that she realised just how wrong her decision had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based this around Mikasa's words in 123 where she ponders how they chose to remain ignorant of eren's inner turmoil.


	3. Hurt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren contemplates on Mikasa in aftermath of chp 50.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I might not be able to reply to your wonderful reviews as I am barely able to steal free time but just know that I read them all and I am thankful for your kind words. I hope the chapters could serve as my gratitude to you all.  
> Thank you once again!

Sometimes it took almost losing someone to know how much value they held in your life.

Eren's eyes rested on the sleeping figure who had been discharged some time earlier today. Looking at her now it dawned upon him how vulnerable and small she looked and yet she took on the burden of taking care of him. If only she hadn’t bothered that much, she wouldn’t be in such a horrible state now. He remembered the medics murmuring among themselves when he had first brought her in. _Cracked ribs. Four of them. It’s a miracle she didn’t pass out from pain._

Every horrible word he had ever said to her over the past few years came rushing back to him as he clenched his palms to hold his tears. The sight of her getting crushed in the titans palm ran inside his head over and over again.

What if Jean hadn’t reached there in time? One second delay and—

He shuddered trying to push the image out of his head. He had been too self absorbed, too selfish to notice anything other than his own goals.

_Protect Mikasa for a change._

His mother had told him to look after her and what had he done except whining or lashing out at her every chance he got? He had forgotten that Mikasa was a human being too. She was capable of being hurt just like him. He felt something akin to shame now as his finger unconsciously traced her scar. He gave her that. All he was ever capable of giving her was pain, and yet she never left him.

_Thank you for teaching me how to live. Thank you for being there by my side._

No. He should thank _her._ For putting up with his insufferable self all this while. Once she wakes up, he would make sure to express his proper gratitude to her. He would make sure to never lash out at her. His eyes darted to the scarf resting on the table top as he sighed. He wasn’t aware that it held such a meaning in her life. That he was capable of protecting someone too. Yes, he just had to make sure to train harder from now on. He would get strong enough so that she would never be put in this situation again.

He heard a low groan as she shifted a little in her sleep and it was only then he realised his hand was still caressing her face. Heat rushed to his neck as he pulled it back trying not to think how soft her skin was. A moment later Sasha entered the room as she was Mikasa’s roommate and told him to head back to his quarters as it was getting late. He frowned not wanting to leave her side so soon.

_What if she is in pain at night or needs her wrapping changed?_

_What if she needs water or food or any other help?_

“I will look after her don’t you worry.”

He snapped his head towards the brunette who gave him an assuring smile, an expression very unlike Sasha but something in her features seemed to assure him as he nodded before getting up.

“If she wakes up just…”

“Don’t worry you will be the first to know.” A teasing smile graced her lips making him feel uncomfortable and somewhat shy as he gave a last lingering glance to his friend.

_To save Mikasa, Armin and everyone else._

Eren wondered why had he suddenly thought of that memory before walking away.


	4. Escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Based on chp 138.  
> Eren and Mikasa's first kiss.

His thumb brushed against the back of her palm in slow circular motion making Mikasa unconsciously tighten her grip on his hand. The cold wind from the sea grazed her face as she visibly let out a shiver. The action didn’t go unnoticed by Eren who pulled her closer to his side. This kind of intimacy from him was _fairly_ new for her making her cheeks stain red but in no way it was uncomfortable. She had craved this ever since…she couldn’t even remember for long had she wanted this. This warmth, this comfort from the boy _no_ man who had given her a new home.

It was way past midnight now and Mikasa had lost count of how many hours had it been since they boarded on this ship. Infact she didn’t want to ponder on that at all because she _knew_ if she did she would fall into a rabbit hole she couldn’t get out of. The decision to just leave it all behind had been reckless and stupid and the worst decision they had ever made in life but they couldn't help it. It was driven by a simple desire to be together and it had been enough to throw everything away they had ever known. 

Eren and her had just enough money to escape to the country nearest to Marley and provide them with food for _just_ over a week. Thankfully they had been mindful enough to gather their clothes and essential supplies from Kiyomi’s resident. Everything about this was selfish and insane but she couldn’t stop herself and _apparently_ neither could Eren. Mikasa could have never thought in her dreams that Eren would give up everything to be with her. That his feelings for her run _that_ deep. Seemingly she wasn’t the only one who was well trained in art of masking the feelings.

She felt a soft graze on her left cheek and turned to find Eren’s slender fingers tracing the counter of her cheekbones. She swallowed as she saw him looking at her with a gentle adoration. As if she was the only one who mattered. Heat rose up to her cheeks but she couldn’t find it in herself to look away from him. His hot breath fanned her face and it was then she realized how close their faces were.

_Oh…_

It was to be expected right? Mikasa didn’t think she was well aware of the concept of such kind of relationship. She was the kind of person who would be content with just staying by Eren’s side but she wouldn’t lie and say she never thought about it. She had heard enough from the girls during their trainee days to know this kissing business felt good. Eren’s hand cupped her jaw as he leaned in closer and slightly brushed his lips against hers. Mikasa wondered if he could hear the loud thump of her heartbeat or the goosebumps rising on her arms. He pulled away before she could even register it properly and she noticed the slight frown his eyebrows formed. Eren did that whenever he was trying to repress his blush and Mikasa couldn’t contain her giddy smile at his adorable expression.

Realising that Eren was just _as_ awkward and inexperienced as her she felt that slight nervousness leave her and before she could realise she had tilted her head to kiss him. This one lasted slightly longer than their first and left her feeling elated. They both stared at each other for a while in a daze before Eren pulled her in a hug and she nestled closer to him. Silence was their only companion for the next few minutes before Mikasa remembered something she had been wandering and wanted to ask him ever since he bought the tickets. 

“Eren?”

“Hmm…”

“Where are we going?”

There was a moment silence before he answered.

“A place named Switzerland.”

Switzerland. The name had such a nice ring to it. As if it was a piece of heaven. 

“It sounds like a lovely place.” She admitted closing her eyes as she felt the weariness of the day catching up with her.

“Yes it does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isayama really made them run away to Switzerland huh 😭. Who said he wasn't a romantic?


	5. Forty two seconds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Mikasa's first time in the cottage.  
> Set in AU of 138

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content ahead.

His face was shielded by her hair, as her finger ran through his wild untamed locks. A breathless whisper left her lips when his hand grazed the curve of her waist. The room was dimly lit by the moonlight and he could see the shadows dancing in his peripheral as he moved his lips from her neck down to her jaw. Her legs were _pliant_ as they wrapped around his lower half coaxing him further. There was a pause when their eyes met— her pupils wide with only adoration in them he didn’t think he _ever_ deserved as she gave a gentle nod. He brought down his lips to here in a soft lingering brush before enveloping her hands in his own.

All the coherent thoughts left his body at this new sensation drawing a moan out of his lips. _Too good._ He didn’t know if he should be grateful that they took this long to reach here or disappointed. He liked being in her company and hearing her laughter as well as sharing chores with her but he wouldn’t lie and say that this was quite possibly the _most_ euphoric thing he could experience with her. Sweat dribbled down his forehead as he repeated that motion with as much gentleness he could gather making sure she liked it as well. Her hot breath fanned his cheek as her hand dug down his shoulders. _More._ She seemed to say and so he obliged.

His movements were clumsy and inexperienced but she was right there with him and it was ok. He wondered if this bliss was found in general or was it only because of her. He wasn’t ignorant to the filthy stories narrated in their bunkers but he remembered feeling something akin to disgust and irritation at that. Maybe it was because they reduced the girls to just a warm body and he didn’t like that. They were so much more. But right now he couldn’t for the life of him remember why had he ever felt disgust? If anything _this_ made him feel more deeply for her if that was even possible. Her heels dug behind him as she bit her lip making him breathe harder. Her raven silk hairs were sprawled over the pillow as her chest heaved up and down with every motion and he thought this might be the most beautiful sight he had ever witnessed.

And then he felt it. The buildup in his core increased as he froze above her. _No. No. No._ Even though he was inexperienced he knew it was too soon. She noticed his sudden halt obviously and gave him a worried glance and he was sure his face was burning now under her scrutiny.

“What is it?”

Her voice was an octave heavier due to their entanglement as he hid his face in crook of her neck unable to face her. It took him a beat or two to answer but she didn’t say anything and instead rotated her hips up making him gasp.

“ _Mikasa_...”

“Its ok.” She traced his jawline with the faint touch of her finger repeating the motion again and _again_ until he submitted himself to it drawing it out for as _long_ as he could which wasn't much as he reached his end few moments later. The room was now filled with the sound of their breathing as he cursed himself for not making her feel just as good.

He was sure that she somewhat knew how to read his thoughts as she gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“It’s ok. We can always practice it.” And even though his cheeks were painted red he somewhat felt relieved at her words as he pulled her in a embrace. Yes they could and he would make sure to be better next time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Eren but let's be real, he would barely last a minute during his first time. It's Mikasa Ackerman after all.


End file.
